Friends

I am trying to convince my daughter to change schools. She is not doing particularly well at the one she is currently attending and I would really like to enroll her in one close to my home up north.

It isn’t going well…

The first thing she starts worrying about is her friends. Of course, every parent knows this trap.

I remember changing schools for 6th grade. It was the pits. I loved my old school and my friends. BUT, I also changed to a school where I was with the person who became one of my lifelong friends, Marsha. Since her birthday is coming up, I toyed with calling her my old dear friend, but she is only 2 months older than me, making that lose its appeal quickly.

In trying to explain to my daughter that she would make new friends and the value of making new friends, a line from a movie kept coming to me (in an incomplete can’t remember it exactly kind of way) about how something’s aren’t meant to last and some relationships take you from sunrise to sunset while others from sunrise to sunrise. (If you happen to know the quote and the movie it came from I would really appreciate a note on it.)

While maybe not the real way to look at it, I chose to let that quote give me permission to lose touch with people WITHOUT guilt. I am a firm believer that people are placed into our lives when we need them. Relationships come and go and many seem to be perfect for struggles we have or even good times when we help others. Whatever faith you have, I know mine involves a greater power that knows what I need and provides it.

Even when we have the best intentions, sometimes people slip away. We haven’t always had Facebook or Twitter to keep us electronically tethered to others. But superficial updates on people’s lives are not the same.

And it is okay.

As friends, we wouldn’t want someone to feel guilty if they drifted away, so why should we punish ourselves. Sometimes it seems we don’t give ourselves enough permission to be normal and busy and stressed.

Lucky for me, I am headed to Texas in a couple of weeks to reconnect with a couple of my friends. Haven’t seen Marsha in about 3 years and it has been about 5 since I have seen Tish (REALLY 5 years) WOW time flies when you are busy making plans.

Anyway, it will be great to see them and hear what new things are going on and just spend quality time feeding my soul with their presence.

The point I was trying to make to my daughter: No matter where you go, your friends go with you, they are in your heart forever and nothing can take that away.